As I write this, I want to capture every detail accurately. One of my students has been on an extraordinary journey in my English class. Initially, in Year 4, she was unmotivated, often skipping lessons and showing little interest. However, I noticed a gradual positive shift in her attitude and continued to mentor her closely. Despite not teaching her in Year 5, I kept an eye on her progress. This year, she begged me to teach her Year 6 class, and I agreed on the condition that she promised to do her very best. She has not disappointed me since.

However, today’s story goes beyond academic achievements. While marking her paper, I was astounded by her performance. For a student who once struggled with Band 3 in English, her writing was now impeccable, reflecting the many email writing models we had practiced together. Her hard work had paid off. I praised her, expressing how proud I was of her progress.

Her response, however, left me speechless. She said, “Sir, I am sad. I am not proud of myself.” This was a 12-year-old girl, deflecting praise with a maturity and bravery that is rare even in adults. Puzzled, I asked her why she felt this way. She explained, with a calmness beyond her years, that she had not yet completed some of her work to her satisfaction and, therefore, could not accept my praise. This student is on a mission and will not stop until she achieves her high standards.

What makes her story even more poignant is her background. Coming from a broken family, she has never met her biological father, and her stepfather often subjects her to physical abuse over trivial matters. These experiences have forced her to mature far beyond her peers—and, sometimes, even beyond me. At her age, I craved teachers’ approval constantly, yet she dismissed my hard-earned praise as though it were nothing. I see immense potential in her, and indeed, in many of our students.

Our teacher training did not prepare us for students like her. The outdated theories of child development from the 19th century do not address the realities of today’s children. It takes experience and a fresh perspective to understand how they function. Praise still works for some, but others seek self-validation as proof of their excellence. They do not rely on others’ opinions; they know they have succeeded when they meet their standards.

This remarkable student has taught me an invaluable lesson: to look within for validation and not seek it from others.

The Accidental Teacher